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Skip navigation! Story from Relationships. When it comes to dating, I was something of a late bloomer. Around the time my friends started losing their virginities and acquiring partners, I alternated between feeling too ashamed of my fat body even to consider letting anyone else see it and presuming that no one would want to look at me naked in the first place. Fast-forward to early university and the discovery of fat acceptance communities online, and I started dipping my toe into the metaphorical hook-up pool.
Finding people who seemed totally at ease with the nuances of my fatness, on the other hand, might prove a little trickier. I encountered folks who seemed to avoid any contact with my stomach, as if my belly were the Loch Ness Monster arising from the ocean or from under my shirt to eat them whole. In , I began making profiles on fat-specific dating websites and apps. That is, platforms specifically targeted at fat people and our ‘admirers’. I knew the stereotypes and concerns surrounding these apps.
Even within fat-positive circles, there sometimes runs a deep distrust of fat fetishism. Fat fetishists are often branded as individuals who want nothing more than to, well, fetishise a fat person usually nonconsensually. Many fat people have experienced dehumanisation in this context. Unfortunately, being thought of as a body and nothing more is something most women — regardless of size — have likely experienced.